Speeches (Lines) for Feste in "Twelfth Night"
Total: 104
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Act, Scene, Line
(Click to see in context) |
Speech text |
1 |
I,5,299 |
Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this
world needs to fear no colours.
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2 |
I,5,302 |
He shall see none to fear.
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3 |
I,5,305 |
Where, good Mistress Mary?
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4 |
I,5,307 |
Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those
that are fools, let them use their talents.
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5 |
I,5,311 |
Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and,
for turning away, let summer bear it out.
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6 |
I,5,314 |
Not so, neither; but I am resolved on two points.
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7 |
I,5,317 |
Apt, in good faith; very apt. Well, go thy way; if
Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a
piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.
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8 |
I,5,323 |
Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling!
Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft
prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may
pass for a wise man: for what says Quinapalus?
'Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.'
[Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO]
God bless thee, lady!
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9 |
I,5,331 |
Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.
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10 |
I,5,334 |
Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel
will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is
the fool not dry: bid the dishonest man mend
himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if
he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing
that's mended is but patched: virtue that
transgresses is but patched with sin; and sin that
amends is but patched with virtue. If that this
simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not,
what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but
calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take
away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.
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11 |
I,5,347 |
Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus non
facit monachum; that's as much to say as I wear not
motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to
prove you a fool.
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12 |
I,5,352 |
Dexterously, good madonna.
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13 |
I,5,354 |
I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse
of virtue, answer me.
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14 |
I,5,357 |
Good madonna, why mournest thou?
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15 |
I,5,359 |
I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
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16 |
I,5,361 |
The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's
soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
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17 |
I,5,367 |
God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the
better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be
sworn that I am no fox; but he will not pass his
word for two pence that you are no fool.
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18 |
I,5,387 |
Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
speakest well of fools!
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19 |
I,5,404 |
Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest
son should be a fool; whose skull Jove cram with
brains! for,—here he comes,—one of thy kin has a
most weak pia mater.
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20 |
I,5,414 |
Good Sir Toby!
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21 |
I,5,422 |
Like a drowned man, a fool and a mad man: one
draught above heat makes him a fool; the second mads
him; and a third drowns him.
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22 |
I,5,428 |
He is but mad yet, madonna; and the fool shall look
to the madman.
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23 |
II,3,717 |
How now, my hearts! did you never see the picture
of 'we three'?
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24 |
II,3,728 |
I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose
is no whipstock: my lady has a white hand, and the
Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.
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25 |
II,3,735 |
Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life?
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26 |
II,3,738 |
[Sings]
O mistress mine, where are you roaming?
O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,
That can sing both high and low:
Trip no further, pretty sweeting;
Journeys end in lovers meeting,
Every wise man's son doth know.
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27 |
II,3,747 |
[Sings]
What is love? 'tis not hereafter;
Present mirth hath present laughter;
What's to come is still unsure:
In delay there lies no plenty;
Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty,
Youth's a stuff will not endure.
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28 |
II,3,762 |
By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.
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29 |
II,3,764 |
'Hold thy peace, thou knave,' knight? I shall be
constrained in't to call thee knave, knight.
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30 |
II,3,768 |
I shall never begin if I hold my peace.
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31 |
II,3,781 |
Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.
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32 |
II,3,805 |
'His eyes do show his days are almost done.'
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33 |
II,3,808 |
Sir Toby, there you lie.
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34 |
II,3,811 |
'What an if you do?'
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35 |
II,3,813 |
'O no, no, no, no, you dare not.'
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36 |
II,3,817 |
Yes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be hot i' the
mouth too.
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37 |
II,4,943 |
Are you ready, sir?
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38 |
II,4,947 |
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid;
Fly away, fly away breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O, prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower sweet
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown:
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave,
To weep there!
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39 |
II,4,964 |
No pains, sir: I take pleasure in singing, sir.
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40 |
II,4,966 |
Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid, one time or another.
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41 |
II,4,968 |
Now, the melancholy god protect thee; and the
tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for
thy mind is a very opal. I would have men of such
constancy put to sea, that their business might be
every thing and their intent every where; for that's
it that always makes a good voyage of nothing. Farewell.
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42 |
III,1,1238 |
No, sir, I live by the church.
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43 |
III,1,1240 |
No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for
I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by
the church.
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44 |
III,1,1246 |
You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is
but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the
wrong side may be turned outward!
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45 |
III,1,1251 |
I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
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46 |
III,1,1253 |
Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that
word might make my sister wanton. But indeed words
are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.
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47 |
III,1,1257 |
Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and
words are grown so false, I am loath to prove
reason with them.
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48 |
III,1,1261 |
Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my
conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be
to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
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49 |
III,1,1265 |
No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she
will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and
fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to
herrings; the husband's the bigger: I am indeed not
her fool, but her corrupter of words.
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50 |
III,1,1271 |
Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,
it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but
the fool should be as oft with your master as with
my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.
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51 |
III,1,1277 |
Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
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52 |
III,1,1283 |
Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
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53 |
III,1,1285 |
I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring
a Cressida to this Troilus.
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54 |
III,1,1288 |
The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but
a beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is
within, sir. I will construe to them whence you
come; who you are and what you would are out of my
welkin, I might say 'element,' but the word is over-worn.
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55 |
IV,1,1953 |
Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
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56 |
IV,1,1956 |
Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor
I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come
speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario;
nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.
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57 |
IV,1,1962 |
Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some
great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my
folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world,
will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy
strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my
lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
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58 |
IV,1,1971 |
By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men
that give fools money get themselves a good
report—after fourteen years' purchase.
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59 |
IV,1,1979 |
This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be
in some of your coats for two pence.
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60 |
IV,2,2025 |
Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself
in't; and I would I were the first that ever
dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to
become the function well, nor lean enough to be
thought a good student; but to be said an honest man
and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a
careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
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61 |
IV,2,2034 |
Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of
Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily
said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;'
so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for,
what is 'that' but 'that,' and 'is' but 'is'?
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62 |
IV,2,2040 |
What, ho, I say! peace in this prison!
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63 |
IV,2,2043 |
Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio
the lunatic.
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64 |
IV,2,2046 |
Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man!
talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
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65 |
IV,2,2052 |
Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most
modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones
that will use the devil himself with courtesy:
sayest thou that house is dark?
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66 |
IV,2,2057 |
Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes,
and the clearstores toward the south north are as
lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of
obstruction?
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67 |
IV,2,2062 |
Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness
but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than
the Egyptians in their fog.
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68 |
IV,2,2069 |
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl?
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69 |
IV,2,2071 |
What thinkest thou of his opinion?
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70 |
IV,2,2073 |
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness:
thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will
allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest
thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
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71 |
IV,2,2079 |
Nay, I am for all waters.
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72 |
IV,2,2089 |
[Singing]
'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
Tell me how thy lady does.'
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73 |
IV,2,2093 |
'My lady is unkind, perdy.'
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74 |
IV,2,2095 |
'Alas, why is she so?'
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75 |
IV,2,2097 |
'She loves another'—Who calls, ha?
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76 |
IV,2,2102 |
Master Malvolio?
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77 |
IV,2,2104 |
Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
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78 |
IV,2,2107 |
But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no
better in your wits than a fool.
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79 |
IV,2,2112 |
Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore!
endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain
bibble babble.
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80 |
IV,2,2117 |
Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I,
sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas.
Merry, amen. I will, sir, I will.
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81 |
IV,2,2121 |
Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am
shent for speaking to you.
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82 |
IV,2,2125 |
Well-a-day that you were, sir
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83 |
IV,2,2130 |
I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you
not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?
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84 |
IV,2,2133 |
Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his
brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink.
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85 |
IV,2,2137 |
[Singing]
I am gone, sir,
And anon, sir,
I'll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Your need to sustain;
Who, with dagger of lath,
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:
Like a mad lad,
Pare thy nails, dad;
Adieu, good man devil.
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86 |
V,1,2191 |
Good Master Fabian, grant me another request.
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87 |
V,1,2193 |
Do not desire to see this letter.
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88 |
V,1,2198 |
Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings.
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89 |
V,1,2200 |
Truly, sir, the better for my foes and the worse
for my friends.
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90 |
V,1,2203 |
No, sir, the worse.
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91 |
V,1,2205 |
Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me;
now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by
my foes, sir I profit in the knowledge of myself,
and by my friends, I am abused: so that,
conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives
make your two affirmatives why then, the worse for
my friends and the better for my foes.
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92 |
V,1,2213 |
By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be
one of my friends.
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93 |
V,1,2216 |
But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would
you could make it another.
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94 |
V,1,2219 |
Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once,
and let your flesh and blood obey it.
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95 |
V,1,2223 |
Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old
saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex,
sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of
Saint Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; one, two, three.
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96 |
V,1,2231 |
Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come
again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think
that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness:
but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I
will awake it anon.
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97 |
V,1,2397 |
O, he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes
were set at eight i' the morning.
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98 |
V,1,2488 |
Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the staves's end as
well as a man in his case may do: has here writ a
letter to you; I should have given't you to-day
morning, but as a madman's epistles are no gospels,
so it skills not much when they are delivered.
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99 |
V,1,2494 |
Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers
the madman.
[Reads]
'By the Lord, madam,'—
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100 |
V,1,2499 |
No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship
will have it as it ought to be, you must allow Vox.
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101 |
V,1,2502 |
So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits is to
read thus: therefore perpend, my princess, and give ear.
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102 |
V,1,2517 |
Ay, madam.
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103 |
V,1,2583 |
Why, 'some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrown upon them.' I was
one, sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, sir; but
that's all one. 'By the Lord, fool, I am not mad.'
But do you remember? 'Madam, why laugh you at such
a barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gagged:'
and thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges.
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104 |
V,1,2603 |
[Sings]
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man's estate,
With hey, ho, &c.
'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
For the rain, &c.
But when I came, alas! to wive,
With hey, ho, &c.
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain, &c.
But when I came unto my beds,
With hey, ho, &c.
With toss-pots still had drunken heads,
For the rain, &c.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, &c.
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll strive to please you every day.
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